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So, finally you reach that day and time when it’s actually happening to you. The day you’ve dreamt of your entire life. The glitz, the glam, the pomp, the circumstance, the whole shebang is before you. You’re saying “I do” to the man of your dreams, in front of friends, family, (and obligatory second cousins). The birds will be chirping, the skies… parting, all will be beautiful & right with the world. B-U-T, what if you’re slightly alternative, or even, (dirty word warning) v-e-g-a-n!?? If your journey looks anything like mine – this, oh this, is where the controversy begins.
I had envisioned this day for many months, with all sorts of questions, anticipation and ambiguity brewing. However, on the day when my mother, after months of speculation, delivered the news that my father agreed to “pay for the wedding”, a sigh of relief echoed through my soul. Wow- this would mean that I would be able to elicit all the fanfare, the beautiful dress, the breath-taking locale, the (well, let’s not get carried away) but at least I’d be able to have the quality trimmings and impressive cuisine I’d dreamt of…ahem. Did I say cuisine?? Cuisine has been a controversy ever since I became vegetarian at the ripe age of 15 and told my father that I’d like to have cutting-edged “veg” food at my wedding. Conflict arose then, and it surely arises now. In an instant, my dream of a 300 person New Jersey wedding with all the trimmings was dashed upon my father hearing the words “vegan & eco-friendly wedding”. Despite the fact that providing vegan desserts to the world is what I do for a living, (www.earthcafetogo.com) and despite the fact that this is who I’ve been ever since I was too young to even drive, in his words, having a vegan menu at the wedding, would be “insulting to my guests, and embarrassing to him”. Ouch. With that, our wedding independence was born, and my convictions and beliefs, solidified.
So here I am, having wasted nearly a year of pseudo New Jersey dream wedding planning. I now have little more than 3 months to plan the VEGAN wedding of the year with no family close by (except of course, the amazing groom), no wedding planning experience, no leads for great caterers, no locations, no locations that provide vegan food or who accept outside catering…(or who even might accept something other than my kidney or my first born as a down payment towards their exorbitant prices), no notion of who the best & eco-friendliest florists are, no understanding of the best wedding planners and how to even determine such…no idea about the best dj’s, best dress-makers, best candle-makers, favors, invites, photographers, videographers, rental companies, lighting, sound, (and these are just a few of the unknowns that come to mind)! I’m short on time, but long on hope. This is all quite overwhelming of course. However rest assured that come hell or high water, I am going to plan every bit of a dream wedding as I had envisioned my entire life. Oh yes, this is going to be a wild ride. So hop on. I’m sure it will be great fun, to see all that unfolds…
Tags: Candy and Josh, Starting from scratch in planning a vegan wedding, Vegan Rejection, What fueled VeganBride.com
That’s too bad to hear that your father bowed out from paying for your wedding, just because you wouldn’t serve meat! Kind of ridiculous. Good for you for moving full speed ahead. I’m not even vegan, though I do like to eat healthy food, but I would completely support my child if he wanted vegan food served at his wedding, or at event event that was about HIM. Maybe your father will move forward with a more open mind? Love your desserts by the way! ~ D
You two make a beautiful couple! Don’t get discouraged! Unfortunately, family can be slow to come on board with anything that breaks their “traditional” or challenges their “norm”. It’s your special day and I don’t think you should compromise when it comes to making it everything you’re dreaming of. Remember who this is about, you and your husband!
D & J I REALLYYYY appreciate the love!!
Candy
I still have to scratch my head as well, that all this ruckus/lack of support, stemmed from just not serving meat at a meal. Wow! Thank you!!
It’s good that you’ve been able to keep such an upbeat attitude, despite receiving such a lack of support from your family. If you find good leads for all of these things, especially catering and decorations, I wanna’ know! My niece is vegan, gorgeous, and very environmentally conscious like yourself. I’ll be helping to plan her wedding next June and am looking for great ideas! Keep up the great work!
Oh! Then you definitely should stay tuned!! Thanks so much! I’m hoping to uncover great finds that not only help the vegan world w/event planning, but the conventional world, as well!! We all could stand to learn a little more about eco-friendliness, no?? I also feel strongly that when mainstream people are exposed to how DECADENT & well-presented vegan food can be, PLUS all of its health benefits & lack of health detriments compared to S.A.D. (Standard American Diet), that many hearts & minds will be opened as well!!
Go vegan passion! Can’t wait until the site is launched. Please provide some recipes of something sweet if you can so we make those incredible desserts for our weddings and gatherings. Happy I found you and looking forward to reading more. :_)
Fight the power!!
HEY GIRL!
this looks great i really cant wait to see the out come of everything. i send my love and support!!!
YAY for VEGAN
SARAH
)))
We would love to make our kefir & other products we have, for your Events. PLease have a look at our website and let us know.
With gratitude and song,
Desiree
Hey Candy,
Very cool website! Not cool that your father changed his mind about paying for wedding, but just that you made an entire website based on your experience with this..
I’m Proud of you for standing your ground and being true to who you are.
Your also an incredibly gifted writer.
Will continue to read when I have a little more time and ENERGY!
Good continued luck on your dream wedding!
Much Love,
Ani
Hang in there. You are a BEAUTIFUL couple. I’m sure you will find a way. It can really be overwhelming though. I was lucky to have a sister who is a wedding planner and she was SOOOOO helpful. I would recommend her, but I live in Canada (yes there are vegans here too!), so it would probably not work out. I recommend getting your planner onboard EARLY in the process though. They can really take care of a lot of the details for you and you don’t have to stress out. THanks for the great blog, eh. (I had to put in one “eh”
)
Can I just say that I have the most amazing and beautiful wife? I mean, I’m not the bragging type, but come on, this is no time to minimize my feelings to avoid sounding proud or boastful. Truth be told, she’s way better than I deserve, but somehow the powers that be smiled down upon me. So lucky me! I am especially proud of her ‘can-do’ attitude. Her dream wedding was just snatched away… over a disagreement over the menu!?! I think most brides-to-be would have quit. Not Candy. She was determined to make it happen anyway, and was confident that a way would present itself. So she set to work learning about wedding planning, and looking for vegan catering options, etc. But that proved to be quite a challenge. You see, there are thousands of beautiful venues out there, but by the time she read about them, looked at the pictures, showed me all the pictures, fell in love with them, contacted them, and finally heard back from them, a long time had passed! Then, they tell her that they only work with one caterer and he does not do vegan! (But she can bring her own caterer and pay a $50/per person penalty fee to the venue. Fee for what? What a racket!) Finding a good vegan caterer is just as hard. I listened to her talk with several chefs and tell them about the amazing vegan spread that she dreamed about having for her guests. When the promised a custom sample menu and one arrives with three main dish choices – Fillet Mignon, Roasted Duck, and Chilean Sea Bass I knew we were both in for a rocky ride. Again, many would have quit, but not Candy. So what did she do (after venting to me) you ask? She said “I’m going to create a website JUST for VEGAN party planning, starting with my own wedding!”. And that she did. I’m looking forward to the upcoming launch VeganBride.com, which will be a one-stop shop for vegan party planning (with all the tools you’ll need to plan an amazing wedding too, of course!) I love this blog portion of the site in the meantime. She’s a great writer. Is it clear that I’m in love yet?
Hey Bride to be. I’ve been pondering this vegan wedding idea of yours. I think as far as invitations go, you should go green by doin this, Create the most spectacular invitation that you can come up with. It should be represent exactly what you and your fiancee want. Then, Have just one printed. for you and your fiancee. Photograph it, and send your invites out electronically. You save soooo many trees that way. The invitation is only important to you, your family, your fiancee and his parents. So maybe you should print 5, i guess.
Octavia dahling (don’t you just love that name?? in Spanish or in English, it just sounds like an enchantress!) Thank you! I LOVE this suggestion, & am going to see if I can get away w/it 100% for the save-the-dates!! (Problem is, the MAJORITY of my parents friends are (lovingly) still in the stone age & don’t have email addresses!! really!) I’m going to re-post this under the giveaway section so everyone looking for eco-friendly ideas can find this there and you’ll be entered! Thank you!!
C