Wow, with the PLETHORA of vegan and raw food restaurants in Los Angeles, you’d think it would be fairly straightforward to find a bangin’ (bargain) vegan caterer for the controversial nuptials of the year. Think again. Whoever catered Ellen & Portia’s wedding is NOT knocking at my door! (In other words, I have no idea who they are & google’s not providing an answer to end this vegan plight).

The majority of the vegan restaurants in town are Thai or Chinese in their bent. While I love a good rice noodle or green curry, I  think I have my heart set on unexpected & very elegant vegan cuisine. I would also like to incorporate my all-time favorite style – “Italiano” – for the reception. I’ve scoured, skipped, and practically danced the jig in what feels like the search for the holy vegan grail, yet  still cater-less, I stand!!

Oh, the agony. There are obvious high-end restaurant choices, but the first obstacle is that I know they’re formidably expensive, (and when it comes to the expense, seriously – for couples who are spending $150+ a head, it kinda’ makes you think twice about including cousin Ed, no??) But I digress. Also, many restaurants I can easily find have specialties centered around imitation meat (which isn’t my personal fave). Apparently there are those who love large portions of “soy chycken”, “tofurky jerky” and the like. I think it’s fantastic if you avoid contributing to the suffering of animals by eating imitation meat and you find pleasure in it. However, for the rest of average creation, either (A) they are meat-eating because they like the taste of actual animal flesh, (B) are NOT meat-eating because they don’t like the taste of actual animal flesh (i.e. me)  (C) are not meat-eating because they don’t like the suffering of animals, (i.e. me) but also (D) find the texture of many imitation meats to be a little “off” (i.e. me), soooo having an entire meal based around it amidst a carnivore crowd, feels a little risky.  Again, I know there are vegan food aficionados who love imitation meat and even those who have found some mock meats to be almost indistinguishably close to the original, (send me some suggestions!) but I just think rolling it out for the wedding creates an unnecessary complication in an already avant garde setting. This added worry makes my search for the holy vegan grail all the more trepidatious! I mean who oh WHO will prepare tofu that can make even the burliest & most doubtful cavemen beat his chest? Who can come up with the creamiest vegan béchamel this side of the French Riviera? Really, can’t someone just hook me up with:

Heirloom Tomatoes, so ugly they make me weak! (Courtesy of WolfgangPuck.com)

OR:

Novel no? Roasted watermelon! What a cute wedding app! (Courtesy of Veganplanet.com)

HOW ABOUT:

How cute is this!? A strawberry & asparagus appetizer for a wedding…WHAAAAT!? (Courtesy of latartinegormand.com)

PLUS:

Imagine mini grilled vegan cheesy goodness- (Talk to me!) (Courtesy of everydaydish.tv)

And for the Entrees:

Vegan “Bread Lasagna” (Courtesy of the oh so creative "Loli" of veganyumyum.com)

You know what would be nice?:

LOVIN’ Rawsheed’s Pizza, but raw food as the main entrée would really push the parents over the edge…(maybe I’ll sneak raw food in for the rehearsal dinner) Ha! (Image Courtesy of Sunpowernatural.com)

Is it too much to ask for THIS to be made vegan? Wowsa:

(Courtesy of pestositalian.com)

And for the grand finale:

(Don’t know where or whom I got this picture from. If it’s yours please let me know so I can give the cred!) Is this cake sexy or WHAT!?? Gifted vegan baker capable of doing this, please emerge at once!...

Or, do you like this cake design better?:

I'm feeling blue as our theme color, & have so many pics of cakes, I'm not sure whom to credit for this as well but if it's yours, let me know!)

Of course we have to bless them w/some Earth Café cheesecake, it would only be right:

At least THIS part I can take care of! (Courtesy of EarthCafétoGo.com)

You know what trips me out? I’ve heard of hundreds of weddings where, despite the obscene amount of money spent (enough in some cases to support a small country) the food was totally wack! The chicken dry, the seafood – odd-tasting, the filet mignon filet min-wrong, BUT, let a potato chip at a vegan wedding have too much salt, and the whole concept, as far as the mainstream is concerned, will go down in flames. I feel as though with this one, (at least to those I know) I carry the weight of the entire vegan world on my little (out of shape) shoulders. Surely this is not the time for world-class vegan-friendly caterers to be coy. That does it. I’m getting on my knees and praying for help.

Stay tuned…I’ll tell you what I find…:-)